Everyone has the right to their thinking, life, peace, and seclusion. But it is worth maintaining a good emotional connection with your partner, says the love making therapist. Bed partner openly reveals what they do not tell their partner.
According to IS’s extensive love making survey, it is especially tricky to tell a partner about their past, their relationships, and what they would like love making from themselves.
- I have left a lot of things to tell. From what I have done with the other. And about what I would like to do with him. It’s hard for me to talk directly about my desires, says a 30-year-old man in an Ilta-Sanomat love making poll.
A man’s thoughts crystallize the feelings of many others. It seems especially difficult for a partner to tell about their past, their relationships, and what they would like from the relationship and love making themselves.
The matter became clear when Ilta-Sanomat asked its readers in a love making survey what things they have failed to tell their spouses.
Make Happy to Bed Partner
- Let everyone decide what they say or do not speak; no outsider can give the right answer. Everyone has the right to their thinking, their own life, peace, and seclusion as a person. But it is worth maintaining a good emotional connection with your partner. For example, she should be told about her desires, wishes, and dreams, says love making therapist Maria Linkoaho-Nordling of the Love making Interpersonal Therapy Center.
The relationship, he says, requires a “certain blue eye.”
- Someone might think it’s silly good faith, but I think it’s a useful feature. The other party’s continuous-doubt is corrosive to the partnership set up in an unsustainable manner.
- Good self-esteem is the secret of a happy union.
“Every once in a while, one of my adjustments puts a message on me and chats,” the 27-year-old man says. However, he does not tell his partner this.
Develop conversation skills
On the other hand, problems should be solved quickly. You can’t expect miracles from love making if you don’t dare say your hopes or don’t even know what to like and whatnot.
- No one is a lousy love making partner. For example, achieving an orgasm is a perfectly normal wish. Still, at the same time, everyone is responsible for their orgasm, how it is expressed, when and in what situation is the most significant thing. Therefore, it is worth developing your discussion and problem-solving skills to learn to tell important matters that concern you. It’s good to know the “user guide” of your partner.
For complicated issues and relationship problems, you should seek help from a relationship or love makingual therapist.
Create rules and update them
For beginners, Linkoaho-Nordling recommends agreeing on standard rules for the relationship, such as love making-related needs.
- I also recommend that the jointly agreed rules be updated from time to time as the relationship gets older, as preferences change.
The peculiar relationship and rules can also be discussed with the therapist.
- It’s an excellent wedding gift idea for young couples.
Ilta-Sanomat surveyed people’s love making experiences and thoughts with an online survey. A total of 11,390 people responded to the study. The survey was conducted on 4-8. June 2020.
What bed partner din’t tell you…
In the early days of my relationship, I was still quite a scrap of the previous ended relationship. I had a fierce internal struggle over whether I could even get my previous one back or just move on. I didn’t want to tell you about it because it would add a nasty tone to his experience of our story. – Woman, 24
The fact that now and then one of my adjustments puts me in a message and chats. We have nothing love makingual in it. I just wouldn’t be able to explain it to my fiancé. – Man, 27
How many love making partners and different love making experiences do I have. And what happened at some parties. I don’t know if my husband, drunk, permitted me to have fun with others. – Woman, 37
An Indian-time train ride, an Oktoberfest trip, and about forty one-night treatments. The spouse doesn’t need to know about them, but if you asked, I would tell. I am now a completely different person. – Man, 48
How I left a younger woman. I packed my stuff in my bag and left without talking or looking back. It annoys me in retrospect how bluntly I did. –Man, 40
I’ve been using drugs for erectile momentarily concerning the beginning when gone massive life situations, and these changes resulted in alapäänkin functionality. For some reason, I didn’t tell you about this, even though it would hardly matter to my spouse. He just couldn’t share everything. – Man, 42
I have not always been able to openly state all my fantasies, desires, and preferences or have been able to describe that even if one person is enough in a relationship, I miss having love making with different people. – Man, 29
What they do not tell their partner
I practiced love making about “duty” because I didn’t dare say that her appearance is intrusive. – Woman, 47
That I own several vibrators, I have solo love making in secret. My husband does not want to have love making, but I’m very love makingual, so I’ll have to settle for single-love making. – Woman, 44
That he’s a nasty bed partner, doesn’t care about another’s enjoyment, there’s no patience or duration. – Woman, 28
That I sometimes think of other men when I masturbate, for example. However, I never do when we have love making together. They are my daydream, and there are celebrities, musicians, and movie stars, among others, but also co-workers or other acquaintances. – Woman, 40
That’s how I lost my virginity. He knows that I’m insecure and somewhat inexperienced, but not the fact that I had been only one time a week before meeting him. – Woman, 21
That sometimes, love making hurts. I know that is my problem, it has been ten years. The fact that it hurts, and I can’t express it. – Woman, 32